Posted: 2017-12-05 15:52
Something for thought:
Perhaps the men who ask you out would like to get to know you a little before getting to know ( 8766 committing 8767 ) to your family. What if you were to go out with a man for one or two dates (at least) and THEN introduce him to your father? It makes for a more relaxed atmosphere (without the dramatic 8766 will you commit to me right away without knowing me 8767 feel).
Not all Christian colleges are safe havens any more. Our oldest daughter went to one where any form of dating was abandoned in favor of hooking up. And the cost of college needs to be justified these days, esp private Christian colleges. The huge debt they will have for years to come can be extremely detrimental to any form of missions work, let alone just normal marriage and trying to buy a house.
Thank you., Margaret. 8775 interested Dad 8776 does not equal 8775 controlling dad 8776 . I think besides good manners, in our society it is important to meet the man. It also lets him know you value your daughter, and implies you expect he will also. She is much less likely to find herself in a situation our of her control if the man has talked with her Dad f
ace to face first.
They CAN be getting to know members of the opposite sex in group contexts. I understand Thomas 8767 s concern for people who don 8767 t open up well in group contexts, but as an introvert myself, that is only applicable in large groups, or groups containing people you do not know well. If it is a group of friends, an introvert will be just as out there and willing to chat as anyone else. In fact in group environments, groups often break up and smaller conversations begin.
Panjabi worries that sex educators and schools will see significant cuts to evidence-based adolescent sexual health programs that were established under the Obama administration. She and her colleagues have long rallied for a dedicated funding stream to support sex education. However, a huge portion of funds—roughly $7 billion over the last 85 years—have been used for abstinence-only-until-marriage programs, according to data from SIECUS. The Guttmacher Institute, a sex research and policy organization, finds 87 states in the . require that information on abstinence be provided in schools. Among those states, 76 require that abstinence be stressed, and 66 states require that abstinence be covered in the sex education curriculum.
Before we get to mired in the idea that a man could a woman and then she would be forced to marry him, you need to realize there is a specific context here and it is most certainly not The NIV has a number of translational errors and this particular error is especially disturbing to any Christian who happens upon it. Thankfully if you have access to a KJV Bible and a concordance you can see that the word translated in the NIV as is the Hebrew word 8775 shakab 8776 and is used many times in the Bible to denote consensual intercourse. The word that as far as I have been able to find is exclusively used for is the word 8775 chazaq 8776 which he uses in verse 75 clearly indicates a and the woman not only is free from punishment, the man is sentenced to death. We must be very cautious when reading the Word as our own minds can lead us astray.
Thanks for addressing this issue, which is basically one of respect and good manners. I totally agree a man who is unwilling to to talk to the father is acting selfishly and weak. If the man doesn 8767 t think a girl, who is honoring her father and submitting to his authority, is worth his time and courage in asking her father, he is just playing around. He is being selfish and is not worthy of that woman.
I can 8767 t reply to Mel below so I 8767 m going to do so here in hopes she will see it. Late 75 8767 s is too old to need your parents, but it doesn 8767 t mean you are ready either. Adults get advice from friends who care about them, not orders from people who want to control them. I 8767 m married to a man ten years older and it turned out wonderfully. But, coming from such a controlling environment, you may find yourself attracted to a controlling father figure that is not healthy for you. Please look up all you can about boundaries. There 8767 s a lot to find online. Make sure you know your God personally and intimately, on your own and not only through what your parents say. Make sure you are not trading one controlling person for another. Read the bible and pray and trust your own word from God. He is your Father. You are an adult.
It 8767 s true. I don 8767 t live at home any longer and so go on the dates I want to when I want to but I cannot introduce even my male friends to my father without him becoming overbearing and argumentative all leading me to believe that not only does he not trust me to hear from God on this issue but also that he doesn 8767 t trust ME and the precepts I was raised with to guide me in making wise choices.
I have been happily dating for the 9 years I haven 8767 t lived at home and although I haven 8767 t found 8775 the one 8776 as yet I know exactly what I 8767 m looking for at this point conclusions only reached through dating many different people and kissing a few a frogs here and there.
How do I witness to my peers when they seem to have knowledgeable answers against all of my beliefs? It is easy to become discouraged in witnessing to people you know who seem to always have the “right answer” to shoot down your well-meaning witnessing efforts. But here is some encouraging news, and some great resources that will help build your mental storehouse to overcome some of the most common objections to Christianity.
T here are some myths out there that people assume to be gospel about dating. Christian culture is like any other in that we develop truisms that we accept without verifying. There are things floating around that have little or nothing to do with the Bible. Most are well intended and contain a nugget of truth. Some are flat out wrong. Dating is hard enough without sifting through all this erroneous information, so let s debunk some myths. There are plenty of them, but let s focus on what I believe are the top five myths that make dating harder for Christian men.
Did you think God gave you a sex drive just to torture you until you got married? There are plenty of things God does that I don t understand, but he s not cruel. Many people confuse sexual drives with sinful desires. Though sexual drives, like all drives, can become sinful, they re holy in their raw state. Yes, I said holy. Your sex drive comes from God. If you don t think that makes it holy, take it up with him.
Respectfully, I must disagree, sir. See, parents shouldn 8767 t, and can 8767 t, control their children forever. They must guide their children to become enlightened, wise, strong, and faithful adults. If the parents succeed, then they won 8767 t need to control their kids.
I say this as a 65-year-old who hasn 8767 t dated or gone steady. I 8767 d like to ask people to use a bit of good constructive logic here.
Have a good day.
I married that guy. We have been married almost 85 years. We 8775 went steady 8776 for 8 years, and for that time, one year, I wore an engagement ring. It was because we paid for our own wedding, and had no debts walking into marriage. It 8767 s not the perfect example. But, I 8767 m thankful my dad was sensitive to letting me know even though he wasn 8767 t around me, he cared, and was praying for me.
If Christianity is important to you, you probably want to date someone who feels the same way you do about your faith. Christian dating sites abound on the Internet. The old-fashioned method, meeting someone at church, is still worth a try. Volunteering at a Christian charity is a good bet, a way to meet that special someone, online chat is a mixed bag. It''s really easy to fake your identity in a chat room. Some sites don''t even require registration. It''s hard to tell if that nice Christian gentleman is for real, or if he''s really a teenage girl out to have a little fun online. Still, people have fallen in love and married after first meeting in chat rooms. As long as you''re careful about safety, you can have fun checking out a few chats.
As someone who was a teenager only 65 years ago, I can tell you (anecdotally) that the all-or-nothing 8775 I Kissed Dating Goodbye 8776 approach is not so healthy for teenagers. At my church the result was that kids were split into more or less two groups those who didn 8767 t date at all, and those who dated in an entirely secular manner. I was in the former group, and by the time I finished highschool my personal requirements for who I would be willing to date were basically nil, in part because I felt unattractive but even more so because I was *extremely curious* about what it would be like to be dating someone. I got lucky that I met a wonderful Christian guy during freshman orientation of college and was able to reset my self-esteem. Meanwhile my brother did date during highschool, mostly because non-Christian girls more or less seduced him. He thought that Christian girls were unattainable and never bothered to ask them out, while these non-Christians showed up at his band 8767 s shows, complemented him, massaged his shoulders, and even asked him out. It was too easy he didn 8767 t resist that temptation.
These questions reveal a lot of real life issues and a strong desire to know 8775 why 8776 or 8775 how. 8776 As adults, we ignore this list to our own detriment. This is what our adults are seeking to understand. This is what has them tied up in knots. This is what holds them back spiritually, emotionally, etc. Thankfully, God 8767 s Word has answers to every issue—and it 8767 s up to us to apply His truth and make it come alive.
We should always be realistic in our self-assessments. If we 8767 re not 65s then we shouldn 8767 t allow ourselves to be romantically interested in 65s. Treat the beautiful people like expensive artwork. Nice to look at, but not for us. Instead we should make the best of what we do have, keep hair clean and neat (long on women if you can live with it), dress as well as we can afford to, maintain a reasonable level of physical fitness, and above all cultivate positive personality traits. Be kind, patient, thoughtful, loving, gracious. Looks fade with time, but being pleasant company never gets old.
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In the most loving way I can, I 8767 d like to suggest that at 78, it is time to cut the cord and begin to trust yourself. Are you living on your own and being responsible for your own care and expenses? If so, then it 8767 s ok to decide to go out casually with someone without making him meet your father first. Spending time with a man should not obligate you to marry him, which is the pressure that could be put on a gentleman if he is required to meet your father first.